Prank Stories
by ChaosKirin
Summary: Harlan tells Catalina the story of how he injured his hand. Short story.


Prank Stories - By E. Christie 

The Christa was pretty quiet. Of course, the crew were all slightly dejected at the fact that they were once more seven whole years from home. Besides that, they'd just met Elmira, and had their entire worldview turned upside-down when they realized that not all Spung were bad. Of course, then Warlord Shank had shown his ugly face. 

No one really knew what to say. Most of the crew had been in the team room at one point, though Bova was off studying - or, more likely, sleeping - and Radu was helping Miss Davenport with categorizing some of the unknown plants in the biosphere. After a long period of quiet, Rosie skipped off to find something more active to do, and Thelma was running diagnostics on the Christa up in the Command Post with Commander Goddard. 

That left Harlan and Catalina. Not that either of them minded terribly, but both went out of their way to show the other that it was preferable to be anywhere else but the team room. Harlan yawned; Catalina rolled her eyes at him. Cat whispered to Suzee; Harlan scoffed. The cycle repeated endlessly as each wondered silently why the other didn't just get up and leave. As Harlan started to drift off to sleep, he felt a weight plunk down next to him on the couch. Opening his eyes, he found himself face-to-face with the Saturnian. 

"Okay, so how do you lose your _middle_ finger," she asked, arching her eyebrows. Harlan raised his left hand and looked at it, chuckling a little. Hey, at least it was something to talk about. 

"You remember when my hand was all bandaged up? Back at Starcademy?" He sat up a bit, propping a pillow behind his back so he was slightly more comfortable. Whatever aliens that had lived on the Christa before the current crew had somewhat eclectic ideas of comfort sometimes. When Catalina nodded, to his question, Harlan continued. "Well, that's when it happened. Few years back... Hurt like hell." 

She shrugged. "That doesn't explain how it happened, or why. I just don't understand how you could get your middle finger chopped off, while the others are fine." 

"You've thought about this for a while," Harlan observed. 

"No." she scrunched up her face, betraying feelings of what could have been a mixture of disgust and amusement. "I kinda have better things to do with my time. But you wouldn't leave, so I figured I should say something." 

"Oh, _I_ wouldn't leave?" Harlan asked. "What, are you waiting for a hot date or something? Let me guess. Radu? Or maybe Bova?" He made a great show of gasping as if scandalized. "Certainly not the commander!" 

Cat reached out, and before he could grab her hand, she'd landed him a pretty forceful slug to the shoulder. "Watch it, Band," she snapped, starting to stand. Harlan got hold of her sleeve and pulled her back. 

"No, stay. I like making fun of you." 

Her expression was tolerant, but at least she was smiling... That was, at least, progress. He liked her... As a friend, at least. And now that they were away from his friends at school, he didn't feel so bad talking to the "Crazy Saturnian," as she was oft referred to. In fact, he found her smart... A little annoying at times, and really weird, but pleasant to be around. She was one of the only people he knew that could take his insults in stride and return them, and _that_ counted for something. Besides, if he wasn't talking to Cat, it would be Radu, or Bova, or Rosie. Possibly the Commander or Miss Davenport. And looking at all the options, talking to the Crazy Saturnian was actually not such a bad thing. 

"So, are you gonna tell me?" she asked again. "'Cuz we have ComPost duty in a half hour. Suzee and I could just go up there early n' play with the controls enough so that it looks like you messed something up." 

He got the feeling that she liked seeing him suffer. Rolling his eyes, he shook his head. "You and Suzee." 

"That's what I said." 

"Well, when you put it _that_ way, I almost _have_ to believe you, don't I?" Still undecided as to Suzee's existence, Harlan was slightly more worried about Catalina's sanity. She could snap at any time. 

Blame it on Suzee. 

It was Cat's turn to roll her eyes. "I told you before. She's in a parallel dimension. She's not imaginary." 

"She's invisible. There's a difference. You should have that put on a t-shirt." 

Despite herself, Cat smiled. "Hey, at least you're learning." She settled herself down into the pile of pillows at the other end of the couch and watched Harlan expectantly. He stared right back at her, brown eyes to green... Neither of them would back down from the staring stalemate, until at last, Harlan sighed. He tried to ignore her silent smirk of success, but it wasn't easy. Pretty soon, he was grinning. 

"Fine. But you can't tell anyone else. It's embarassing." 

"I'll reserve judgement," came her airy reply." 

"Figures. Fine." He settled back himself, attempting to think of the best way to start the story. It would have to be entertaining, while at the same time catering to a more sentimental angle. Without being too sappy, of course! And he'd have to come out looking like the oppressed hero. 

"Why not just tell it how it happened?" Cat asked. 

Harlan blinked at her, astonished. "How did you know what I was--" 

She giggled, her words almost obscured by the laughter. "I didn't. I just know how you work." 

Beaten again. "Alright. Well... You know there were a couple fraternities at the Starcademy, right? It was the night before initiation..." 

--- 

"Nah, I'm just sayin'. You go in, spray paint the wall, and get out of there before anyone sees you. It's so easy." 

Harlan stood with the duffle bag full of spray paint. It was cleverly concealed as an official Starcademy issue, so no one really thought to examine the contents. Harlan actually bothering to tote around a school bag, though, did look a little suspicious. Though as he sat in plain view in the mess hall, he'd pull a book or something out of the bag once in a while and pretend to read it. It seemed to satiate any curiosity from others. Still, he was a little nervous... With the president of Zeta Zeta Kappa sitting across from him, he had to try to keep his cool. For him, it should have been easy. But the fact of the matter was, one of the ZZKs had access to the security camera network, and was on duty tonight with someone who was savvy to this whole operation. Which meant that the entire fraternity was going to be watching as he went on this little venture of pledgehood. 

"I know, Zach. It'll be easy." 

Zach arched yellow eyebrows. The multi-colored greens and blues of the boy's Saturnian hair briefly hid them as they disappeared under the few wild strands hanging down over his face. "You look really worried for thinkin' this is a piece of cake. Look, if you don't want to do it... We can defer your initiation 'til next year. You know. When you're _more ready._ This is somethin' everyone does, Band. You ain't the first one... And if you're caught, you ain't the first there, either. Thing is... We don't mind if you're caught. But can you hold your tongue when they ask you who put you up to it? That said... Just so you know, it's better _not_ to get caught." 

"I'm wouldn't tell 'em, even if they could catch me. Don't worry. I'm more nervous 'bout being pinned tomorrow." 

Zach reached forward, clapping Harlan on the shoulder, before standing. "Don't worry about _that._ that's the easy part. It's what you gotta do to prove you're ZZK material that's hell. See you later, Band." 

Harlan watched him walk off, before glancing at the position of the moon out the window. Technically, it wasn't the moon... It was the planet, Pluto. Still, the Academy was on its third rotation, which meant lights out would come any minute. Student were already packing up and heading off to their dorms, and soon, there would be the tone transmitted through the speakers that would signify the end of the day. 

Finally, the intercom clicked on. "Students, this is Assistant Principal T.J. Davenport, first of all wishing you all a good night. I know this isn't the simple tone you're used to, but there is one announcement I have to make before lights-out. I'd like to remind you all that wandering in the hallways is not permitted after dark, unless it's in specified zones or you're accompanied by Starcademy personal. A little bird told me that there's an... Event... Happening soon with one of our fraternities. I don't think I have to remind anyone that pranks of any kind will result in suspension. Keep in mind that we have security cameras around every corner. Class starts tomorrow promptly at eight A.M... Don't be late!" 

As the intercom clicked off, Harlan smirked. "Big brother ain't watchin' tonight, T.J.," he muttered, as he gathered up his things and headed into the already darkening halls. 

--- 

Catalina laughed. "I remember that announcement. I remember wondering what the hell it was for." 

"Turns out, I guess it was for me." Harlan offered a half-smile. "I was the only one that had an assignment that night. One of my pledge-brothers, Noah, had the task of short-sheeting the faculty beds the night before, and a couple things had gone on during the day. So I was on my own that night." 

"I don't remember you being in a frat," Catalina mused. 

Harlan's smile faded a bit. "Don't worry, I'll get to that part." 

--- 

Waving cheerfully to the security camera as he passed it by, Harlan continued on his way toward the Administrators' Hall, an apartment complex build into the Starcademy for its higher-ups. It was notoriously well-guarded, which was why he hoped that Zach was right about one of the brothers being on camera duty. So far, though, he hadn't been caught, and he even had to hand it to himself that he was staying uncharacteristically quiet. So far, so good. 

Upon reaching the pre-settled location, Harlan hefted the duffle bag off his shoulder and set it on the ground. All he had to do was cover the pristine white wall with a plethora of colors, then beat it out of the staff wing before anyone saw him. Easy. Glancing up at the camera again, he wondered what they were thinking. Zach said it would be a live-feed right to the housing sector, and that the rest of the brothers and the other pledges would be watching him. That was some one-hundred or so people... And while Harlan liked being the center of attention, that was a little nerve-wracking. Choosing to ignore the camera, he felt around in the bag and underneath the books for the first can of paint. 

He wasn't allowed to artistically indicate anything that might incriminate the fraternity... Which meant that the frat's colors, green and gold, were out. He also couldn't write anything... It just had to be straight color... It made sense. Even if it _was_ paint. Someone could recognize the handwriting, and it was better to just not take that chance. Carefully at first, then with more alacrity, Harlan emptied the can of blue paint onto the wall. It was only afterward that he thought to check around to make sure no one was watching him. Had he heard footsteps? 

He reached into the bag again, finding a can of red paint. This, too, he started to use, covering over the blue as quickly as possible this round. As time passed, his heart quickened. The more time he spent here, the more likely it was that he'd be caught. Suddenly turning toward the camera, the Earther froze. That time, he was _sure_ he'd heard footsteps. Looking back toward the wall, then at the duffle bag at his feet, Harlan shoved the empty cans of spray paint into it and started to take off, just as he glimpsed the security task force bearing down in him from around a corner. Here was his chance to impress the guys back at the house. He raised his hand, offering them the one-finger salute everyone knew and loved. 

Something dropped out of the bag... Continuing to hold his salute from the safety of the shadows, he bent down to pick it up... And realized only after he did so that his hand was closing around the pommel of his pocket knife. The guards saw that, too. One of them shot at him. 

There was a sudden, searing pain in his hand as he heard what _sounded_ to be the assistant principal shriek, "You _shot_ at a student!" 

Clutching his injured, bleeding hand, Harlan realized that he'd pretty much lost all will to flee. 

--- 

"They shot you," Catalina repeated, incredulous. "They actually shot you?" 

Harlan nodded. "Why do you think no one ever heard the story? You think the students would feel safe if they knew the security force had _shot_ one of them? They let me off without punishment, provided I never told anyone." He shrugged. "I told people it was a shop accident." 

"Why didn't you just tell _me_ it was a 'shop accident?'" Cat wondered, brow furrowing. 

Again, Harlan shrugged, letting the matter drop as he changed the subject. "And... about the fraternity. They'd called off the prank 'cuz Miss Davenport was on to us. No one ever thought to _tell me._ They just assumed I'd figure it out. I dunno... I guess I was better without 'em. Still stayed friends with a couple of the brothers, but after that? I mean, they were the only ones besides me and security that knew what really happened. But I just... Didn't want anything to do with 'em anymore." 

"So you walked away." Cat leaned a little closer... And Harlan found he was getting mixed signals from her. Was she looking at the fact that he quit as being heroic, or cowardly?" 

"I'm not stupid," he finally said. 

"I didn't say you were." 

"I thought you agreed not to tell anyone," came the amused voice from behind them. As the two students realized there was pretty much only a foot of distance between them now, they hurriedly jumped back, staring wide-eyed at Miss Davenport. She was smiling... Harlan couldn't tell if that was good or bad. 

"You know, I felt bad for weeks after that," T.J. said. Then she paused. "That was before you glued me to my chair, however." 

"You know what they say," Harlan chuckled. "For every action, there's--" 

T.J. cut him off with a wave of her hand. "Fine time for you to remember a lesson, Band. You're also late for Command Post duty, both of you. Ten demerits each for that. And another five for you, Harlan, for telling that story." 

They rolled their eyes, trudging off toward the Jumptubes and leaving the teacher alone in the Team Room. She was somewhat confounded, though. "He never told _us,_ that he was doing it for the Fraternity..." she mused. Of course, they'd guessed that, but he'd sworn up and down that he was acting on his own... And eventually, they believed him. She pondered for a moment, then wondered out loud in a rhetorical question to herself, "So why would he tell Catalina?" 

Shaking her head as she realized she was talking to herself, Miss Davenport headed off toward the classroom to write lessony things for the afternoon class session. 


End file.
